"The act of forgiveness is not the condoning of any action that causes pain, it is the refusal to carry the pain inflicted by that action." ~Grandmother to The Oracle, Children of the Luminaries: Book III~The Day of Reckoning
Long ago, when I had asked about forgiveness, the answer I received was simplistic in nature. Though it is nothing new, the message bears repeating.
Long ago, when I had asked about forgiveness, the answer I received was simplistic in nature. Though it is nothing new, the message bears repeating.
When we forgive, we are not condoning the action that caused us pain. When we forgive -- we are in refusing to carry any and all pain inflicted by that action.
A Hard Habit To Break
As human experiencers, we develop a wide variety of habits. No greater habit have any of us than the habit of holding on to pain. It doesn't matter how long ago it was inflicted, it doesn't matter how far we have come in our conscious awareness ... our habit of holding on to our pain is ever present. It is a habit that we hold near & dear to our collective hearts.
We hold on to our pain as though it were a matter of life or death. Why? While the reasons vary, the root of this issue is fear. Fear of not having purpose. Fear of facing our true feelings. Fear of taking responsibility. Fear of owning up to any mistakes we may have made or imagined we made. Fear of being unworthy, of being unloved, unwanted.
A Hard Habit To Break
As human experiencers, we develop a wide variety of habits. No greater habit have any of us than the habit of holding on to pain. It doesn't matter how long ago it was inflicted, it doesn't matter how far we have come in our conscious awareness ... our habit of holding on to our pain is ever present. It is a habit that we hold near & dear to our collective hearts.
We hold on to our pain as though it were a matter of life or death. Why? While the reasons vary, the root of this issue is fear. Fear of not having purpose. Fear of facing our true feelings. Fear of taking responsibility. Fear of owning up to any mistakes we may have made or imagined we made. Fear of being unworthy, of being unloved, unwanted.
But above all these ... Fear of our own individual power.
We scare ourselves on a regular basis with stories we have been told and continue to tell ourselves about Our Selves. We know instinctively we are powerful beings -- but yet we hold on to the pain in lieu of our power.
We fear being seen as arrogant if we choose to live in our power. So we hold on to the pain in order to blend in -- to be just like everybody else! And just like everybody else -- we begin to forget who and what we truly are. Just like everybody else -- we suffer needlessly.
The pain we hold on to allows us to feel. So we hold on to it--with all our being.
We scare ourselves on a regular basis with stories we have been told and continue to tell ourselves about Our Selves. We know instinctively we are powerful beings -- but yet we hold on to the pain in lieu of our power.
We fear being seen as arrogant if we choose to live in our power. So we hold on to the pain in order to blend in -- to be just like everybody else! And just like everybody else -- we begin to forget who and what we truly are. Just like everybody else -- we suffer needlessly.
The pain we hold on to allows us to feel. So we hold on to it--with all our being.
As long as we are feeling pain ... we are feeling something. Right?
The pain allows us to remain in the state of forgetfulness -- all so we don't have to take responsibility for our lives. It's better to let someone else take responsibility for our misery. After all ... they are the reason we are in so much pain. Right?
We hold on to the pain so we can punish those who caused the suffering. If we suffer ... then they surely will suffer more by watching us live in so much misery. We will live in our misery as a shining reminder of what a horrible person they are or were. Right?
RIGHT!
But the question is -- If you let go of your pain ... what is the worst that could happen? What do you believe would happen if you chose to forgive?
What benefits has all that pain brought you? What have you derived from holding on to past hurts?
As with any habit you have developed -- the habit of living in the state of unforgiveness can be broken. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe ... it will most assuredly achieve. This is a proven fact.
The choice is yours. It has always been yours to make. You need only make it!
Many insist they can't forgive their abusers. Many believe that in forgiving -- in releasing the pain inflicted -- would give their abusers the freedom to do whatever they want -- whenever they want.
Trust me when I say, irregardless of what you do or don't do, your abuser will continue on with their lives. Holding on to the pain they inflicted upon you will not stop others from carrying on with their abuse. By the same token, letting go of the pain will not stop others from choosing to continue on with their deeds either.
So the question remains ... what do you have to lose?
In all seriousness ... what do you have to lose by letting of the pain? By refusing to carry it with you?
The pain allows us to remain in the state of forgetfulness -- all so we don't have to take responsibility for our lives. It's better to let someone else take responsibility for our misery. After all ... they are the reason we are in so much pain. Right?
We hold on to the pain so we can punish those who caused the suffering. If we suffer ... then they surely will suffer more by watching us live in so much misery. We will live in our misery as a shining reminder of what a horrible person they are or were. Right?
RIGHT!
But the question is -- If you let go of your pain ... what is the worst that could happen? What do you believe would happen if you chose to forgive?
What benefits has all that pain brought you? What have you derived from holding on to past hurts?
As with any habit you have developed -- the habit of living in the state of unforgiveness can be broken. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe ... it will most assuredly achieve. This is a proven fact.
The choice is yours. It has always been yours to make. You need only make it!
Many insist they can't forgive their abusers. Many believe that in forgiving -- in releasing the pain inflicted -- would give their abusers the freedom to do whatever they want -- whenever they want.
Trust me when I say, irregardless of what you do or don't do, your abuser will continue on with their lives. Holding on to the pain they inflicted upon you will not stop others from carrying on with their abuse. By the same token, letting go of the pain will not stop others from choosing to continue on with their deeds either.
So the question remains ... what do you have to lose?
In all seriousness ... what do you have to lose by letting of the pain? By refusing to carry it with you?
Holding on to the pain is truly a hard habit to break! But it is one that can be broken!
Excerpts from Say NO To Fear Challenge! by Julia K. Cole
Next Article: Forgiveness: Part II ~ Truly Divine
About Julia K. Cole
What can you expect from someone who considers Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality a personal calling? Straight forward answers that lead to life-changing experiences on a soul level!
Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™, Julia brings enlightenment and inspiration around the globe by providing spiritual guidance to those seeking a deeper understanding.
In her personal empowerment consultations, Julia provides in-depth advice, teaches you to tap into your own inner-strength and provides tools to enable you to live a more fulfilling and joyful life.
As a psychic medium, Julia brings healing and comfort by serving as a liaison between those here in the physical realm and those who have crossed over into the spiritual planes of existence.
Julia's weekly radio talk show Namaste Beloved!™ can be heard on Blog Talk Radio every Friday evening starting at 9 p.m. Eastern Time.
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