What Is The Gratitude Gap?

The Gratitude Gap happens when we fail to express appreciation 
for the goodness in our lives.

The Gratitude Gap is occurs when we show lack to no appreciation for 
the challenges, problems and pain that comes into our lives.

The Gratitude Gap occurs whenever we show a lack of appreciation.

• Lack of appreciation for things ... great or small;
• Lack of appreciation of the painful things;
• Lack of appreciation for anything and/or anyone we may dislike or causes us pain.

The Gratitude Gap isn't about liking or loving everything and everyone. It's about showing appreciation for the gifts EVERYONE and EVERYTHING brings into our lives. Situations, words and deeds that enrich us in ways we never believed possible. No matter how painless or how painful they may be.

Bottom line... the Gratitude Gap  is about being thankful for every single opportunity to learn and to grow past our own short-comings.

Gratitude strengthens our emotional, mental and spiritual muscle.    The Gratitude Gap creates a weaken state within our selves.   We are left vulnerable to the challenges that come our way.   By showing gratitude for those challenges, you build stronger 'muscles' that can help you get through the toughest situations.

No, it isn't easy being thankful for pain.  No one said it would be.  But the more you do it, during the times it is happening to you ... you will soon discover how smoother it is to get past those little annoyances that come your way.

You Don't Miss The Water 'Til The Well Runs Dry"

How quick we are to accept the good that comes our way. How quick we are to call it our blessing when everything is going smoothly.

How quickly we forget the priceless gift our painful experiences are.

Be honest with yourself. Where would you be without your painful experiences? What kind of person would you be in this moment ... without them?

Many believe they would have had a better and happier life if only ... if only there hadn't been so much pain -- so many hardships -- so many "road-blocks" in their lives.

What the majority fail to understand is this:  Our hardships and pain help mold us and nourish us just as much as the goodness and the joy does.

As a race, human experiencers are wired to come into a true appreciation only when something and/or someone is no longer available or 'something'  has been withheld.   Sad, but true.


We have left many clues for ourselves to remind us of this.   Clues that can be found through our 'sayings' ... such as  'the forbidden fruit' is more desirable, 'you don't miss the water 'til the well runs dry', 'the grass is always greener on the other side.'  These are only a few ... can you name others?

In truth, there are people and situations that drive us absolutely insane!  There are people in our lives we would love to see just disappear entirely.  I have a list of those types of people myself!  But if you were to step back and really see past the irritations, aggravations, annoyances and hardships ... I would be willing to bet that you would see how much you have learned from it all.  How much you have grown as a person.

Take a few moments and see for yourself the valuable lessons these annoying situations and irritating people have brought into your life.    Express your gratitude for the opportunities it gave you to grow up emotionally, mentally and most importantly... spiritually.

Communicate, Appreciate and Validate

Take a moment,  each and every day,  to Communicate your Appreciation for all those who have help you grow!  No matter how insignificant you think/believe it is, no matter how painful it may be, Validate those (including situations) who have come into your life, who took the time and energy in giving you that much needed growth spurt!

Notice the difference in your own energy when you do this.  See how much lighter you become.  How much stronger you feel.

Take stock in how far you have come because of --and in spite of-- those people and situations.


In doing so ... you will close the Gratitude Gap.

A Simple "Thank You" goes a LONG way!  But don't take my word for it!  Try it Your Self!

Forgiveness: Part III -- Let Go & Let God

 The road to freedom is through the doorway to forgiveness.~Louise L. Hay

Forgiveness does not mean condoning bad behavior.
Forgiveness does not mean condoning abuse.
Forgiveness is the refusal of holding on to the pain inflicted through word and/or deed.
Forgiveness is refusing to carrying that pain.

*********

I feel guided to pass on to you an article I wrote back in January 2005. The Transformations we are each undergoing requires our "REMEMBERING" the importance of Letting Go and Allowing ourselves to rely on God Creators when we cannot do what we desire on our own!

Antari & I send you our Love and Great BIG Hugs!

Namaste!

Julia

*****

Let Go and Let God ©

Let Go and Let God ... These are perhaps the most famous words ever spoken. It is the mantra of the men and women who work a program well known throughout the world for their diligence in assisting people to work through their addiction and releasing their old ways of living… Alcoholics Anonymous.

I have been honored and privileged to know some of those who continue to work the "program" and reap the benefits of the wisdom of letting go and letting God. And it wasn't until I met these people that I came to truly understand what it meant to Let Go and Let God.

The most important thing I learned from these brave men and women is that letting go does not come over night! It is a life time commitment to taking each day as it comes and treating it accordingly.

Meaning ...

Not looking back to yesterday--as it has come and gone. Not looking forward to tomorrow--as it is may not even come. But taking the day you are given--this day, the present--and making good choices to build a strong foundation for the ever present NOW.

While each new day brings us the challenge to slip back into the old ways of doing and thinking...it also affords us the opportunity to stand strong and maintain the boundaries that we have established for ourselves.

It's not easy. No one said it would be.

We have to face the struggles day after day to overcome and move on…to simply Let Go and Let God!

How many times have we sat and wonder if the choices we made were the right thing to do? How often have we beaten ourselves up over the choices we made the day before and wonder why we even bother? But then we remember why. In remembering we then come to accept that we had to make that choice in order to move on to a better way of living.

With each new day that enters our lives, we are faced with choices ... choices that doesn't always bring us happiness, choices that oftentimes appear and feel harsh, cold and cruel. However, if we truly desire to improve our way of thinking and doing, bring about a better way for ourselves and those around us, deep down we know we must make these choices!

No, it isn't easy ... No one said it would be.

When We remember and come to accept the fact that without making those seemingly harsh choices… we could not continue to move forward nor could we continue to improve and redefine our quality of living.

And it is with this realization ... we come to know that we really must let go and just Let God.

In the times we are currently living in, we are being challenged on a daily basis to let go…both individually and globally. We are faced with choices to move on without those we love and care for.

While the reasons vary from person to person…the end result is still the same. We, as individuals, must let go and continue to move forward.

For those of us who have had to say good-bye to friends and family who cross over, the challenge to let go and move on can some times seem harsh and cruel. We think to ourselves… "how can I possibly just let go and move on without him or her?"

For those who had to break free of a relationship, be it with family members, loved ones, friends, etc. they find themselves wondering if they did the right thing by letting go. They find themselves feeling bad for breaking those ties for the sake of personal growth and forward movement.

Irregardless of why and how the bonds and ties were severed, letting go is essential to an individual's progress. It is vital to the growth of a person regardless of what and/or who it is they are letting go.

To get a clearer understanding -- consider the following:

When you were young, you made many friends in elementary school. As you progressed onto Junior High School, some of those friends moved away and you never saw them again. What did you do? Did you stop having friends because you couldn't possibly go on without those friends who left? Or did you establish new relationships? When you advanced to High School and those relationships that you made in Junior High School faded for one reason or another, did you just give up making friends with other people? No, you simply let go and moved on, didn't you?

Same holds true as you advance spiritually. While some relationships continue, many others will be relinquished in one form or another. It isn't easy. No one said it would be! But you do it because you know you must!

You learn and you work through letting go each and every single day. And while some days are indeed easier than others, you know deep within that you must continue to work on letting go. And in those moments when you can't do it for yourself…you hand it over to God.

No, it isn't as simple as it sounds. And yes, you are going to slide back now and again ... more often than you care to admit. But that is all a part of growing and learning.

****

Do not look back to yesterday…as it has come and gone.

Do not look to tomorrow…as it is may not even come.

Take each day you are given…as it is given…One day at a time

And when you have done all you know you can…

Let Go and Let God

Forgiveness: Part II --To Forgive Is Truly Divine!

The importance of forgiveness has been proven over the years to be one of the healthiest ways to live. It has been noted that those who practice forgiveness on a regular basis are happier and healthier overall. These individuals do not deny there is negativity in the world, they don't live in some fantasy world where bad things only happens to others. On the contrary, they see it, recognize it, acknowledge it and most importantly, accept it as a part of a learning experience.

In fact, those who practice forgiveness on a regular basis are more apt to exert themselves in assisting others, bringing forth uplifting message by both word and deed, to show by example the benefits of letting go of the pain.

After all, where has holding on to the pain gotten anyone?

For me personally, I have made my share of mistakes. I have left in my wake more pain and tears than I really care to acknowledge. Truth of the matter ... I have wronged many. I have done more than my fair share in perpetuating negativity. I have no excuses to offer. And I can't begin to say how sorry I am.

I will be honest ... some of the pain I inflicted I feel no remorse nor do I make any apologies. This is something I know in my heart I will work through in my own divine timing -- when I am ready.

Admitting to it is half the battle.

I don't spend time mourning those times I screwed up. And I certainly don't beat myself up over it. I realize that all was merely lessons to help me along the way.

I know that through these experiences I have learned a great deal. I know it has made me a better person overall. I have learned that letting go of the pain has made room for healing, and this in turn has created a stronger connection to my True Self.

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. Some days are better than others...but it is still a challenge even now.

Accepting the challenge takes courage. Working the challenge takes great strength. No one said it would be easy. And it isn't. It is ... what it is.

Speaking from personal experience, the act of forgiveness lightens your proverbial load.

Whenever we truly let go of the burden of pain that we have carried for period of time, there is a physical sensation that occurs. You literally feel an enormous weight lifted from your body. You begin to feel lighter. Your emotions start to balance out, you begin to see the world in a whole new light. In some instances, you will actually begin to hear joyful sounds like birds singing or the sounds of laughter. Sounds--happy sounds-- you didn't notice before. Everything looks more alive now ... more vibrant!

Most importantly ... you feel this connection to everything and everyone.

All of this, and so much more, happens when you simply forgive.

You quickly discover that Forgiveness is truly Divine!

But don't take my word for it! Try it for yourself!

What do you have to lose?

Excerpt from The Say NO To Fear Challenge by Julia K. Cole

  

Forgiveness: Part I --A Hard Habit To Break

 

"The act of forgiveness is not the condoning of any action that causes pain, it is the refusal to carry the pain inflicted by that action." ~Grandmother to The Oracle, Children of the Luminaries: Book III~The Day of Reckoning

Long ago, when I had asked about forgiveness, the answer I received was simplistic in nature. Though it is nothing new, the message bears repeating. 

When we forgive, we are not condoning the action that caused us pain. When we forgive -- we are in refusing to carry any and all pain inflicted by that action.

A Hard Habit To Break

As human experiencers, we develop a wide variety of habits. No greater habit have any of us than the habit of holding on to pain. It doesn't matter how long ago it was inflicted, it doesn't matter how far we have come in our conscious awareness ... our habit of holding on to our pain is ever present.   It is a habit that we hold near & dear to our collective hearts.

We hold on to our pain as though it were a matter of life or death. Why? While the reasons vary, the root of this issue is fear. Fear of not having purpose. Fear of facing our true feelings. Fear of taking responsibility. Fear of owning up to any mistakes we may have made or imagined we made. Fear of being unworthy, of being unloved, unwanted. 

But above all these ... Fear of our own individual power.


We scare ourselves on a regular basis with stories we have been told and continue to tell ourselves about Our Selves. We know instinctively we are powerful beings -- but yet we hold on to the pain in lieu of our power.

We fear being seen as arrogant if we choose to live in our power. So we hold on to the pain in order to blend in -- to be just like everybody else! And just like everybody else -- we begin to forget who and what we truly are.  Just like everybody else -- we suffer needlessly.

The pain we hold on to  allows us to feel. So we hold on to it--with all our being. 

As long as we are feeling pain ... we are feeling something. Right?

The pain allows us to remain in the state of forgetfulness -- all so we don't have to take responsibility for our lives. It's better to let someone else take responsibility for our misery. After all ... they are the reason we are in so much pain. Right?

We hold on to the pain so we can punish those who caused the suffering. If we suffer ... then they surely will suffer more by watching us live in so much misery. We will live in our misery as a shining reminder of what a horrible person they are or were. Right?

RIGHT!

But the question is -- If you let go of your pain ... what is the worst that could happen? What do you believe would happen if you chose to forgive?

What benefits has all that pain brought you? What have you derived from holding on to past hurts?

As with any habit you have developed -- the habit of living in the state of unforgiveness can be broken. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe ... it will most assuredly achieve. This is a proven fact.

The choice is yours. It has always been yours to make. You need only make it!

Many insist they can't forgive their abusers.  Many believe that in forgiving -- in releasing the pain inflicted --  would give their abusers the freedom to do whatever they want -- whenever they want.

Trust me when I say,  irregardless of what you do or don't do, your abuser will continue on with their lives.  Holding on to the pain they inflicted upon you will not stop others from carrying on with their abuse. By the same token, letting go of the pain will not stop others from choosing to continue on with their deeds either.

So the question remains ... what do you have to lose?

In all seriousness ... what do you have to lose by letting of the pain? By refusing to carry it with you?

Holding on to the pain is truly a hard habit to break!  But it is one that can be broken!

Excerpts from Say NO To Fear Challenge! by Julia K. Cole

Next Article:  Forgiveness:  Part II ~ Truly Divine

About Julia K. Cole

What can you expect from someone who considers Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality a personal calling? Straight forward answers that lead to life-changing experiences on a soul level!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™, Julia brings enlightenment and inspiration around the globe by providing spiritual guidance to those seeking a deeper understanding.

In her personal empowerment consultations, Julia provides in-depth advice, teaches you to tap into your own inner-strength and provides tools to enable you to live a more fulfilling and joyful life.

As a psychic medium, Julia brings healing and comfort by serving as a liaison between those here in the physical realm and those who have crossed over into the spiritual planes of existence.

Julia's weekly radio talk show Namaste Beloved!™ can be heard on Blog Talk Radio every Friday evening starting at 9 p.m. Eastern Time.

Judge NOT! This means YOU! --Fear Busters: Part 2

When we judge ourselves, we are judging someone. Believe it or not, we are someone. And we tend to forget that -- on a regular basis.

We don't like it when others judge us, yet we tend to judge ourselves often and with great fervor. Why? Well, that answer would take up more time than any of us really have. Sufficient to say, we do it! Our reasons, though varied, are based on one thing and one thing alone -- We don't love ourselves.

When you compare yourself to someone else -- you are judging yourself.

When you call yourself names, put yourself down for not "measuring up" -- you are judging yourself.

We've all heard it before. At least a million and one times! It is the proverbial wisdom of the ages. If you love yourself, then you won't judge yourself or others.

But here's the catch ... the wisdom of the ages is only useful if you actually apply it; more importantly, live it.

And before you even think about saying it ... I've heard it all before!

It's just too hard! I don't have time for this! Why do I have to be the one to do it? And my favorite ... I can't!

Yes, I've heard all the excuses. Truth be told, I invented half of them!

I wish I could say it was easy. It isn't! Then again, no one said it would be! But the bottom line is, what has taking the easy way gotten us?

Sure, we can play the "Blame Game"! Why not! It's easier to blame others for our feeling the way we do. Why accept the fact that we are in charge of our own feelings? Especially when it's easier to just hand our power over to someone else! "He/She made me (fill in the blanks)." Yea, so much easier than saying ... "I'm feeling angry or I'm feeling sad".

Deity of our Choice Forbid we ever admit we have the power to choose our feelings! Heaven and Hell forbid if we ever chose to admit we even had that power!

And why should we? Why should we own our power when it's so much easier to complain about how bad we have it? It's so much easier just sitting there on our collective asses and saying ... "I had a really bad childhood" or "I've had a rough life" or "I just have the worse kind of luck!" ... isn't it? Of course it is!

It's much easier to say ... "he/she made me do it!"

Yes, it is so much easier just to sit there and pity ourselves.

Taking responsibility for our feelings, for our life ... for our Self ... is the last thing we want to do.

It's easier to moan, groan, piss and bitch about it all. Let somebody else do it! After all, it's worked so well so far! Now hasn't it?

And then ... as we come to a point in our lives when we realize there isn't anyone to blame, we turn on ourselves. Instead of blaming others, we begin to blame ourselves. We start judging ourselves in ways no one else possibly could ever imagine! Breaking one cycle only to jump in to another.

If you were to record every criticism you hailed about yourself on your self, you would be shocked at how often, how cruel and with such authority you do it. It's frightening! We are so abusive towards ourselves, it's nothing short of criminal!

Not judging ourselves isn't something we stop doing over-night. We have a lot of fear to acknowledge, work through and accept.

Loving ourselves isn't easy because we haven't bothered doing it with any regularity.

So why not try something different? Why not spend the day not criticizing yourself? Just one day! Each time you catch yourself saying ... "I'm so stupid!" Why not say to yourself instead, "that's okay! Everybody makes mistakes! I can't learn, if I don't make a mistake once in a while!"

Try it! If only for one day! I mean ... what do you have to lose?

Love IS Everywhere!

Love isn't some thing you can capture and keep captive. It isn't something you chase or pursue. It isn't something that you can beat into submission or force.

Love is not impossible to find because it's not lost!

Seriously, how can you find something that was never misplaced or hidden?

Love is a massive force of energy that cannot be measured. It is the creative energy that put into existence everything. And It is found everywhere. You can't look anywhere without seeing love at work. It is a tireless constant moving flow that is so powerful that it cannot be destroyed.

It is the energy that brought us into being; and it is the very energy that keeps us thriving.

Whether you accept it or not ... Love exists.

Love's existence isn't dependent on your individual beliefs.

That's the thing you see--Love thrives irregardless of what you think and/or believe. It continues on whether or not you acknowledge it. It carries on despite ... and in spite of ... what you say, think or have convinced yourself of.

Persistent little bugger ... ain't it?

Love doesn't stop just because you have decided it isn't there.

To understand this energy--to really see it at work, you have to adjust your attitude.

"When you change your attitude-- your perception will change!" Demetrius to The Oracle, Children of the Luminaries: Book I ~ The Coming Storm

Love is not about condoning any type of abuse. It is about accepting the challenge to rise above any given situation. It is all about refusing to hold on to the pain that was inflicted on you.

Refusing to carry it around with you.

The damage of any abuse is perpetuated when we refuse to let go of the pain. As human experiencers, we latch on to pain and hold on to it as though it were a matter of life & death. We cling to our pain for fear of having nothing. Many of us have convinced ourselves that if we let go of that pain, we will fall into some dark black pit and never return. Many fear that if they let go, they will have nothing to live for. No purpose.

No matter where you find yourself, no matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter who you are, Love is present.

There is much, much, much more to say about Love -- more than can be written here.

The bottom line is this--- if you are looking for Love you only need to change your attitude about Love. Upon doing so ... you will find it everywhere, in everything and in everybody.

If you find yourself in pain, try something different --let it go. If only for five minutes. Let it go. Replace it with Love. I mean what do you have to lose?

If you find yourself alone without that "someone special" -- try loving yourself. If only for five minutes--just try it! What have you got to lose at this point?

Changing your attitude does change your perception! But don't take my word for it. Try it for yourself! I mean c'mon! What do you have to lose? Seriously?

Distractions

We all have them.  We go out of our way to create them for whatever reason.  I know my favorite distraction is Paint Shop Pro.  It's my brand of therapy when I find myself stuck on a problem or just need to get out of the daily rat trap and get away from it all as it were.

Distractions ... everyone has at least one.

Funny thing about distractions though,  it isn't too long before they develop into addictions.  And when that happens ---it isn't long before we find ourselves in deep shit!

Work, home, relationships (both professional and personal) suffer when we allow our distractions to take over our lives.

For instance ...

Cell phones are a source of convenience for most.  It is a handy tool to have around in the event you can't find a pay phone.  And seriously, these days --- who can?   The cell phone is especially great to have on hand if you find yourself broke down in B.F.E.  Parents use it to keep track of their children.  All in all, the cell phone is a magnificent tool to have on hand.

Yet thousands each day find themselves unable to live without them.  This simple convenience has not only become a distraction --- but a virtual addiction for thousands upon thousands world wide. 

Everywhere you look these days you will find someone  texting and/or talking on these devices.  It's gotten so bad that laws have had to be established in order to protect not just the cell phone users ---but  others from cell phone user addiction!

Another prime example ... The Internet.  

The internet is a useful tool, a place where people work, find useful information, helpful suggestions, friendship and camaraderie.   Throughout the internet one can find a wide range of distraction.  All sorts of on line games to be played ... and for free I might add!  Not to mention all the free "networking" sites, chat rooms, radio shows, etc.    Many of which are extremely useful.  

Yet, for many, the internet  is  another form of distraction.  And for many more-- it is a literal addiction.

Are you among those who spend more than 2 hours a day on the internet that is NON-work related? 

So the question remains ... where is the balance?  Furthermore, how can one find, and most importantly, keep balance in a world filled with distractions? 

That is a question only YOU can answer for yourself.


In all things ... whatever it may be ...  no matter what you find yourself doing ... Moderation is the key.   

Anything outside moderation is nothing more than an Addiction!

But why do we, as human experiencers, need distractions? 

Julia K. Cole
Psychic Medium
Empowerment Coaching
Radio Talk Show Host
www.juliakcole.com
www.namastebeloved.com
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Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality!
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